Use this data base as a starting point for picking who you would like to partner with. In the hunt for a marriage partner, appearances matter. Looks alone won't get you a wedding ring, but to score eventually you have to first attract some initial candidates. How long has it been since you've picked up a new shirt? Take a quick moment too before you leave the house to add a dab of lipstick.
As psychologist Erich Fromm wrote in his classic book , the best partners to choose are 'like what you like best about yourself.' Remember, think salt and pepper shakers. Hit the weight loss programs, guys and gals, if extra poundage is hiding your natural body shape. Are you dressing like a grownup who is strutting her stuff, or like a high school kid who is hanging out with whomever?
At the same time, if you are all about the other person with virtually no talking about yourself, you are likely to be at risk for attracting a narcissistic other. Do I assume that I can know what they should do or what they think and feel instead of asking them? While you are at it, get savvy about gender differences in decision-making. If you have not learned from history you may be understandably cautious about repeating it. Were one or both of my parents unhappy in their marriage?
You may feel in relationships that you are always waiting for the other shoe to fall and then suddenly, poof, the relationship will be over. If your parents looked unhappy or fought a lot, odds are that marriage looks unappealing to you.
Constant shopping and hunting can get demoralizing.
Feeling that your own life is gratifying and worthwhile is important for your own satisfaction, and also makes you more attractive as a potential partner for someone else. Am I unclear about the kind of partner I am looking for?
Third tip for an active approach to mate-finding: Use online dating sites. At the same time, the sites often do yield results.
I've been impressed with how many individuals in my clinical practice have found their life partner online.
Long monologues tend to drain energy from a conversation. Maybe I need to think about what’s right in their viewpoint as well. Often that fear is built on having watched their parents suffer from inabililty to create a positive alliance or sustain a tone of goodwill. Learn also how to take situations of conflict and turn them into shared-problem-solving. If my parents divorced, do I feel unclear about why they split up?
If you haven't yet found someone whom you want to love forever, fortunately, there may be factors that you can address that could help you in your partner search. Looking like a flirt turns some potential partners off.
At the same time, showing interest in someone who interests you is a definite plus. I recall once hearing an actor describe tryouts for a play.
While having not yet found your match says NOTHING about how good a person you are, taking a fresh look at what's working and what's not may help to speed up your progress toward your goal. Some singles, though by no means all, have communication habits and/or skill-deficits that have been off-putting to potential partners. Still others need to rethink their courting strategy to come up with a plan of action that will put them in contact with more of their kind of folks. A answer to any questions on the following quiz could merit taking a further look at this dimension and rectifying what you see. Voice: Is my voice is louder (or softer) than other people’s?
The following quiz lists twenty factors that can affect spouse-finding. Do I speak more rapidly, or slowly with pauses between words?